It was late evening and all had finally calmed from the fast-paced day. I stood in the kitchen and said, I don’t know if I can handle my life much more like this. It wasn’t a dark thought. It was a real thought of a life that we had seemed to be given through the choice of foster care and having 4 bio girls of our own. Therapies every day, the stresses of the baby not eating well, and the pace that is required of having 4 girls in school and sports. Not to mention a new career in real estate. We both laughed at my statement but deep down we knew the question I was really asking was… Where are you?
Where are you Lord when things feel so tough?
God created the earth for us. Adam and Eve were the climax of His creation and the very reason all else existed. It was because of us, that He made flowers. It was because of us that He made every creature. It was because of us, that He gave us a land to enjoy.
Adam and Eve experienced that good and perfect Creation that God intended for us to have. They walked with God. Talked with God. And they heard from God. It was the truest form of Heaven on Earth and it was meant for all of us. However, sin would enter through deception, and Adam and Eve’s perspective of God’s intention would change.
So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.Genesis 3:6-7
At the moment of their disobedience, doubt, and questioning of God’s intentions of their lives would come. Bringing guilt, shame, and embarrassment to the good and perfect humans God had created. They would hide from the all-knowing God, but ironically it wasn’t them who was asking…
Where are you, God?
The Bible says that Adam and Eve heard God coming. I would love to hear this in my life. When I am drowning in shame, embarrassment, or guilt, I would love to hear the footsteps and gusto of my Heavenly Father coming toward me. But Adam and Eve knew His voice. They had never experienced NOT hearing the voice of their Father, it was all they knew. But yet they resisted and hid. Leaving God asking the question…
Where are you?
As I read these words I feel the Father saying… where are you, Tiffany? Are you hiding in busyness unable to keep up with the pace you have set for yourself? Are you beating yourself up for every wrong decision you have made believing the lie that I AM not big enough to redeem? Are you so busy asking where are you God, that you are missing that He is asking you the same question?
He knows me better than I know myself. He knows where I am just like He knows every hair on my head. But yet he asked Adam and Eve this very question because He knows that every question has the opportunity for a response.
When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. Then the Lord God called to the man, Where are you?Genesis 3:8-9
God wanted Adam and Eve to self-reflect and answer the very question that we spend so much time asking ourselves. To know where we stand with God.
Where are we?
For me, I can answer this question and begin to understand why it has felt silent in so many ways. I can answer this question and find places that I have tried to sew flimsy fig leaves together to cover the wounds that Jesus wants to heal. The answer to this question allows me to peel back the layers of my heart and find the root issues that have taken hold in my heart.
Like Adam and Eve, sin in our lives can cause us to question God’s good intentions for our lives. Disobedience can cause us to view God differently and leave us asking, where are you? But in return, God is asking us the same, while also repeating back to us…